I make no secret of the fact I like Tesco. I think their clothes are interesting, well-made and reasonably-priced (and they haven’t got a gun to my head right now. I’m not being held hostage off the shores of Mexico. And they haven’t demanded £10,000 from my family for my safe return.)
For the last couple of years* Tesco have designed their Couture range – something that has not been wholly successful. Maybe this is because the designs are pretty out there (oversized shoulders and ruffle necks, anyone?). But it may also be because Tesco’s customers can’t afford, and have no intention of, paying £140 for a dress.
The dresses on the website right now came out last year, and, as stated above, push the boundaries (in terms of Tesco’s fashion forays and, let’s face it, the whole supermarket fashion phenomenon). I think it’s fair to say they didn’t sell terribly well, but I think it was great of Tesco to even attempt something like this. And also, they went up to SIZE 18.
Yeah, a lot of shops sell size 18. But how many places actively sell couture clothing at £100 a pop in a size 18? I can’t think of any right now (mostly because my head is full of mucus. I’ve got man-flu). And even if the dresses aren’t always to my taste (the pattern on this dress reminds me of the upholstery on coach seats), I think it’s a good idea.
Not that I could ever afford them.
But one man’s lack of popularity is another man’s gain (just ask David Cameron). Because these did not sell very well, Tesco’s are flogging them (not like Jesus flogging – more like Del Boy flogging) at £20 a time.
The dress below has a little ‘bat out of hell’ going on. It could look gothy, but with the right shoes/accesories, I think we could all work it. The puff sleeves would also save our life if we fell out the window of a high building, allowing us to glide to safety. Safe AND stylish? Like going 30 mph on a Ducati.
I’m excited by the button detail, and I want to see how nice this lace really is. It was originally £95, so it better be loomed by the finest Belgium lacers.** I’ll probably end up getting this dress just to see why it was ever £95. I think you should get one too. Then we could glide together. How romantic.
Available in sizes 6-18. £20
* as far as I can remember. But then I also remember when Joe Pasquale was a member of Parliament.
** I don’t know if lace is loomed. And I don’t think people who make lace are necessarily called ‘Lacers’. But Belgian’s are big on lace. I went to Bruges when I was 15, and all I remember is lace and chocolate. Phallic chocolate, at that. Good times.