LBD Revisited

There are lots of things in this world which never go out of fashion. Pocketwatches… leggings…Blue Peter… Capitalism… 

The Queen of them all is the saviour of last minute parties and friend of accidental wine spillage – the LBD, otherwise known as the Little Black Dress.  As faithful and as boring as your friend who’s been sober since that night in Ibiza when you-know-what-happened, the LBD is at once versatile and mundane. It can save a party, but it doesn’t always make you feel special.

My favourite kind of clothing or shoes are those which are classically cut, but with subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) touches that make people think, “Wow”. They don’t even have to say it – sometimes the loudest statements are those which have the quietest effect. In short, you don’t always have to be the drunk bird showing off her poonana in a short skirt as she dances on the table to Ricky Martin to make an impression.

So this leads us to the LBD. How can we jazz it up a bit? Because frankly, plain black is for wallflowers.

So, think material, think shape and think small touches that embellish an otherwise normal frock. I’m going to use Asos dresses, because a) they have a great sale on and b) I don’t want to spend my whole lunch hour trawling the internet for you ungrateful young so-and-so’s.

First and foremost, I am lusting over this:

Dress, £75 – Asos

‘Hook and eyes’ remind me of extreme fishing, which may be a sport I’ve just made up. Anyway, the hook and eye fastening is a favourite of brassieres (see? I got class) and use of the metal on this dress is mesmerising. It’ll give even the most straight-up-and-down girls curves to die for! It’s £75, so it ain’t cheap. But class ain’t cheap, kiddo.


Dress, £22.50 - Asos Dress, £17.50 Dress, £31.50 - Asos

 This dress, aside from the fact that the model looks like she’s struggling to keep her own head on, is a classic tulip style, but the focus on here is the material. Jaquard is often a thick material that’ll hold in any wibbly wobblys and the piping on the waist ensures that your middle looks like a cocktail stick (a rather eerie image, now I’ve tried it out in my head). The plain sleeves also stop it being so “meh”.

Dress, £17.50 - Asos

 Ok, so you wouldn’t go bare-legged in this one, but the cut-out back adds interest to an otherwise plain dress and is still high up enough to ensure that any dredded back-fat isn’t leaking out à la toxic waste in a lake.


Dress, £31.50 - Asos

With this one, the shape on the neckline is EVERYTHING.  It subtley draws the eye to the breast, without going all Page 3 on us, and the lace is ‘sexy boudoir’ rather than ‘Mrs Henderson’s curtains’. Overall, it is gorgeous.
And that, girls, is how you revisit the LBD. It’s a classic for a reason, but that doesn’t mean we can’t put a psycho spin on it, does it?

Please leave a comment. If not, I might hunt you down.

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